we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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