He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
