You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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