I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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