I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
