I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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