So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
