I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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