When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
