dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
