Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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