so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize