it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
