found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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