ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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