What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
