It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
