Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
where are my eyebrows?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
