Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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