I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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