I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
