I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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