Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize