This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
