So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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