Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
