Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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