if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
