Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
