If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize