yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so let's talk penis.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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