I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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