Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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