Your face is a jimmy john
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
