dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
