I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize