i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
