That's when you crack a 10am beer
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
