I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
