we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
