At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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