I accidentally had phone sex last night
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
