I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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