we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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