My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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