So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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