matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
