Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
