Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
