Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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