would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
