would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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