Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
