Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
