I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize