fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
