I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
