i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
