we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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