You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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