absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
