oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
